Saturday, March 26, 2011

An American's Thoughts on Idool 2011

I am clinging to whatever “current” American television I can get here in Belgium.

But with E! telling me that Eva Longoria is still married to Tony Parker, I realize man cannot live on E! alone.

The point is....I’ve been also clinging to Belgian “versions” of American television too. And this includes American Idol.

So I’ve been watching the Belgian Idool 2011 from the beginning. I’ve done my research. I think it's cool that their preliminary rounds were held in the Dominican Republic. After all, that's where I met my husband just 10 months ago!

And so…here are my thoughts so far:

I have to say a belated farewell to Falco.

Dear FALCO: You were painful to watch on the first live show.

But it’s okay Falco, I am SO sure that someone will hire you for their kid’s birthday party.

You can be the new, young and slimmer Boy George! Your skills in makeup application far outdo most girls here where I live, it's sad really. But you really do have talent.

And I'm pretty painful to listen to...when I'm speaking NL. I’ve been taking Dutch classes for two months now and I know I don’t sound good. Falco, you didn’t sound so good either, but you were a joy to watch in the Dominican Republic.


Dear ALYSSA: Goodbye to you too. I’m sorry you had to go because I kinda sorta liked watching you in the Dominican Republic but I felt like you never…let…go…completely and you were trying to be someone you’re not. I’m not saying you were fake, but it was really hard for me to LIKE YOU.

I did like your dress on the first live show though, I would totally buy it were I to see it somewhere.

I also liked your song choice a lot, I love Corinne Bailey Rae’s “Put Your Records On” but you were trying way too hard. You should have channeled Corinne’s chill vibe, but you were trying way to hard.

Relax. Wait. It’s too late. You’re gone.

But let’s talk about your second live show song. The “90s”song, you know, J. Lo’s “Waiting for Tonight”. More like I was waiting for the end of this song!

Davy, My husband would like to know why you were moaning more than you were singing. I think it’s because you were struggling. Care to tell us? I think you are so pretty and you CAN sing, but you need to relax and let us in.


Dear LORA: You are so pretty. And your take on Rihanna’s Take a Bow the first live show? It was almost as pretty as you, but not quite. You have such potential. And your 90s song the last show? Robin S? – Um, more like Robin No says my husband. You look nothing like Robin S and you sound nothing like her either. You disappointed.


Dear DENNIS: Um. Yeah. Next…sorry dude. I don't really remember you, and VTM seems to have misplaced your video clip from the live show because I couldn't find it though I found everyone else's...


Dear DEVON: You creep me out. You just do.

You sang Fool’s Garden’s Lemon Tree. Well, I wonder why, I wonder how you GOT THIS FAR.

Go back and watch him sing. He looks creepy.


Dear KRISTOF: Pearl Jam’s Alive huh? Not bad. But not unforgettable.

Adrian is still waiting for the knock-out Rocky. Just letting you know.

Oh, and are you really going to keep your hair like that?


Dear MAUREEN: That was quite a bright red dress tent you wore.

If you’re going to go Whitney’s I’m Every Woman, you need to give us more crackhead energy. I know you were in the hospital before the live show, but you must have spent too much time in the morgue while you were there. WAKE UP!


Dear KATO: You nailed Natalie Imbruglia’s Torn, but I was so distracted by your pants that I couldn’t focus.

All I wanted to hear you bring the hammer down and belt out U Can’t Touch This all over the Idool stage.

Seriously. Did you pick your live show outfit or did you piss someone off in wardrobe?! Nightmare on the pants...



Dear JONAS: Rough start with the "Iiiiiiii Iiiiii wanna faaaaall from the staaaaars, straight into your arrrrrms". I have to admit I love the song but I had no idea it was by Simply Red? I kinda like you. But I want you to sing better. Because Manuel is cuter than you are and you both fill the same "type" for me. So one of you eventually has to go. At least for me.


Dear KEVIN: Jamiroquai’s Cosmic Girl? You could sing Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Girl and I would buy it.

You are so going to win Idool 2011. Well, you should. Now.

I can’t wait to see you and KATO sing something together.


MANUEL: Santana was probably cringing listening to you WHINE. Even IF you are adorable. If you sang this song to me I would say “forget about it” because you WHINE.

“Gimme your heart, make it real or else forget about it.” Yeah. Like I said. Forget about it.


Before I leave. I have to get this out.

No disrespect to any of the parties involved. But even you guys have to admit the uncanny parallelism between American Idol (original) hosts and the Idool 2011 hosts. Wowza.

But Ryan Seacrest did take OFF like a rock didn’t he? He and the Kardashians are BANKING. Good for him. But according to Davy, my hubby who was born here in Ghent, the Idool 2011 hosts Koen and Kris Wauters (brothers also by the way) are QUITE successful in Belgium.

Oh, and since I never shut up…the judges are nice and very constructive aka SOFT in their criticism. But I love Sylvia Van Driessche, the only chick judge of four judges in total. Her red lipstick is super bright but looks great on her skintone and hair color. Another judge that caught my attention in a big way: Koen Buyse. He is the “harshest” judge and so reminds me of Simon Cowell. Sigh. I do miss my Simon Cowell.

But I’m living in Belgium now and I’m married to an amazing Belgian man and I love Idool 2011.

7 comments:

  1. I think you should go back to America. Nobody in Belgium likes emptyheaded foreigners who feel they have to criticise. We're just not interested. Maybe you should keep your American thoughts to yourself and your beloved hubbie. I'm sure he can appreciate it. after all, he married an American...

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  2. Don't be silly dear girl. I am disappointed in your comment. You sound ignorant telling me I should "go back to America" when my heart and home is now in Belgium? Clearly I must have criticized someone you like. So we can dicscuss that or you can be the one who actually sounds "empty-headed". Nobody made you read this.

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  3. Although we'd LOVE to have Jun back in America, Belgium is her home now. Who's this bitch to call someone "empty-headed"? Belgium TV is open to criticism like any country in the world, and telling someone to “go back home” is the true crime in ignorance. If Jana truly wants Belgium to be a better place, she should start by educating herself…

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  4. Hey Jun,

    It's nice to see some honest commentaries to the level of our performances, I agree with you that my version of santana's smooth wasn't impressive, at all... I'm gonna do my best and perform with more passion, musicallity and less show.

    Kind regards,

    Manuel

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  5. Manuel, I think you are SO sincere (you were SO nice to Devon when you first met him) and talented. And I think it's a WONDERFUL Idea to get more passionate and into honest musicality and "less show". I will be rooting for you! I want to see the REAL Manuel! :)

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  6. I will be checking back to see your opinion on liveshow 3!

    Kind Regards,

    Manuel

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