Friday, February 18, 2011

Kickoff of Survivor: Redemption Island

After making the biggest fuss over not getting access to Survivor here in Belgium, I’d like to thank Kevin for providing a guiding light. Davy also downloaded and saved the first episode for me but I was not a happy newlywed yesterday so I acted like prima bitch and scoffed at his peace offering.

Boston Rob is adorable and charming as ever, albeit with some marriage weight. But it’s okay, I’ve seen it happen. Or should I say I’m seeing it happen? Whatevs.

The tribal council was one of the best christenings to a season of Survivor that I’ve ever seen. But like, chill out people.

Hang on the beach like Rob, you have 39 days.

I’m so glad they cast David Alan Grier as Halitosis Phil. His crazy "Special Agent" dry mouth role is played to perfection.

Oh, and Halitosis Phil also is a victim of Cheapelasticosis.

As you can see from the diagram provided, there is something really scary going on with his stretched out undies and I’m scared that one of these days his junk will pop out and I will go blind.

Did this happen overnight or did he know of his condition?

Cheapelasticosis hurts everyone.

I hope he's "getting treatment for it" too.

Yuckiest Moment Award goes to Kristina.

Or Pitbull, which she likes to be called. Um, what’s up with all the female testosterone this season? What woman LIKES to be called a pitbull?

I’d rather go by a “bitch” dog like a pomeranian. Suits me better.

STOP doing that nasty shit woman.

And CBS, did you really have to subject us to a whole 11 seconds of her taking a tree trunk to her plaque?!

Worst Fashion Award goes to Ralph.

His “man-sweater” as Mike called it, is just a mess.

If you’re going to sport one at all it should be fuller. I saw sparse patches of something furry and then patches of naked skin? Not cool.

I want to see full-on all-around two inch thick man-sweater or I want nothing at all.

Take care of that Ralphie. I’d hate to hear one day that your back hair got caught in the snaps of a flag-pole and you mortally wounded yourself.

Some Hooked-On-Phonics Tips:

- FRANCESCA: fran-CHESS-ka” (fran - rhymes with and ran 
ka - rhymes with pa) so get it right Halitosis Phil.

- ASTERISK: “ass-tur-ISK” (I love you Jeff Probst, but you almost made me cry).

Closing Thought:

I like Julie so far although she has had zero air time.

But I’ve figured out what Julie looks like.

I mean, who.

I’ve figured out who she looks like. I always loved Beauty and The Beast.

I guess what I meant was “a very superficial closing thought”.

6 comments:

  1. ha! Love your observations...lol @ Beauty and the Beast. (MarluvsBB)

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  2. You are back!!!! I live in Belgium too and I can't wait to read what you think about this place...As far as TV watching goes, we have a SlingBox hooked up to a TV in the states. It is a great thing and you might really enjoy it. SlingBox allows me to watch whatever is showing on my tv back home in real time. I just log on with my computer in Belgium and there it is! I can even record. Actually, as long as I have my computer, I can watch it from anywhere in the world. Keep writing and enjoy Belgium!

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  3. HA, thanks dear Marie!

    Julie! Thank you! Oh wow, how exciting! How long have you lived here?!?! :) Would love to hear more from you!

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  4. Welcome to the world of watching TV via computer! Thank goodness for modern technology! When I watched your season of BB, my mom had to video tape every episode and send it here to me in Japan! I'm so glad your blog has started up again. I LOVE your Survivor commentary! It should be an interesting season! xox kim (kimnsin)

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  5. Jun, Great blog posts! I really enjoy your analysis of the contestants. We haven't seen much screen time for Julie yet but we'll have to keep an eye on her, she may prove to be an interesting character.

    I moved back to the US from London last summer after living in the UK for 3 1/2 years. I understand how difficult it is to miss US tv shows when you're living abroad.

    If you have a US iTunes account, you can subscribe to Survivor Redemption Island in HD for $29.99 or in standard definition for $19.99. You can watch these episodes on your computer or on your Belgian tv if you have an Apple TV connected to it.

    If you have a friend in the US who will host a Slingbox for you, then you can watch all your US shows without a subscription fee. I wrote a recent blog post explaining Slingbox that you may find helpful: TV Fan? This Sling's For You! http://www.wonderoftech.com/

    I'm not trying to self-promote, just trying to help you get access to US tv shows.

    Back to Survivor - which strategy do you think will be more successful: Rob's congenial style or Russell's confrontational style? I would think Rob's style would be more effective, but I'm reluctant to count Russell out.

    I'm looking forward to your future blog posts. This season should be very entertaining with all of these fascinating contestants.

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  6. Agreed Sasori, but this last episode was a little slow no? Hmmm...

    Thanks for the tip WonderofTech...yes, it should be a good season!

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