Thursday, July 15, 2010

"Perfect-er" is NOT a WORD!!! - BB12. Ep 3.

Doesn't anyone on Big Brother speak proper English anymore?!

We have reached an all-time low. That's just the nature of the Big Brother Beast.

We will reach many all-time lows this summer.

For example: Hayden used the word "perfect-er"...and what's worse, CBS chose to write it out for us in the subtitles.

Like, great, some kid is going to pass by the television on the way to bed and see that shit. And then tomorrow, that child is going to use the word "perfect-er" and the cycle will turn even vicious-er. Sigh.

After Sunday’s episode I was worried, the HGs were boring me a little. They still are, but there’s nothing like nominations and veto competitions to spice things up a bit.

LOVED IT: The best stuff on this episode was the Annie and Ragan Show. I was so touched when these two shared a moment in the “I’m gay too!” world. It was sweet, Annie really admires Ragin’ Ragan! I prefer the Bloomin’ Onion personally. I think Ragan should do voices for Pixar. Anyone else in favor?

HATED IT: I couldn’t stand Brendon’s “I’m gonna run through my ego-feeding monologue about physics and all my schooling. And I wish my dick was bigger.” Wait, what? Yes he said that. He did so just let it go, okay? Geez.

I want to like him, because I already like him in body. He's disappointing me a little.

And when he said he was the biggest target in the house, I was shouting in my head,

“Brendon, you are not the biggest target in the house! You are the biggest vagina in the house! You cried like a vagina-bearer cries! CRIED! Not cool."

Did you really cry about being nominated for eviction?!

Did I really take 18 pictures of you crying and then have to narrow them down to a somewhat creepy 1?!

I think I'm still screaming at him, but now I really am. It's out there. Crybaby.

Ahhh, I love my Big Brother.

And I love that I am turning 35 on Monday and I'm waking up on that morning with the love of my life but right now I get to make fun of The Big Vagina to the left.

By the way, I plan to use vagina in each blog so this is the last time I’ll mention vagina being used in each blog. Teehee.

LOVED IT: The guest appearance by Tammy Faye Baker. Oh, I mean, Kathy.

HATED IT: The guest appearance by Tammy Faye Baker. Oh, I mean, Kathy.

Yeah, I can’t decide how I feel about Kathy.

She was a little less annoying tonight, but just a little. Don't get so excited my dear Jilly, I know you love Kathy. Blech.

But I really want her to give her eyelashes a good cleaning because I dry heaved twice just looking at her picture, twice.

And who is this girl Kristen they had on tonight? Oh yeah, she’s on the show. Like, WTF is she doing? Does she spend her day in the toilet or something? Where has she been this past week?! Maybe she’s a werewolf-looking vampire, that would make her way more interesting.

LOVED IT: Hayden describing the eye-fucking between Rachel and Brendon as “Taking each other’s clothes off with their eyeballs”. WOW! Those have GOT to be some intense eyeballs. I can use my teeth pretty well, but I’ve never used my eyeballs. Ouch!

HATED IT: Enzo’s Hair. I don’t understand. WTF is that?! Does he collect all the girls’ hair from the drains and then blowdry them for the top of his head?! EW!

I really think Hayden is such a moron, I can just imagine him getting the mood lighting going and then saying something like “I’m undressing you with my eyeballs.” I would totally lose my lube and put my clothes back on.

I know who wouldn’t lose his erection for Hayden: Enzo. He thinks he’s in command of his new 4-man alliance. He also named himself “Meow Meow” and named Hayden “Animal”. Animal. Yeah. We know who’s gonna be the aggressor in this hardcore moment.

As do all men in the Big Brother house to-date, the alliance “Brigade” (Enzo, Hayden, Matthew, and Lane) think they are the “strongest alliance in Big Brother history”. BORing.

LOVED IT: Watching Enzo struggle on his knees while wearing pink from head-to-toe.

HATED IT: The Power of Veto competition. GHETTO. BOOTLEG. Big budget cuts apparently. “Cinco de Mayo?! “ Matching t-shirts and headbands?! Yuck. Tacky. Although I was rolling on the floor when Lane got Hulk-angry about getting Dairy in his face. OMG, so many places I can take this.

Can I get smug for a moment? Of course I can.

Last week I called Rachel “a walking, steamy hot pile of mess” and voila, she wore this t-shirt for me. Love it.

I still find her endearing, despite the fact that she sounds like she's part deaf / part tea-bagged.

And by the way, I officially don’t like Andrew, that’s all I’m going to say. Well, I’ll say a little more. In my initial assessment of him last week, I begged him to “come hard”. And now I know that he couldn't even if wanted to with all his Judaic might.

When he started screaming about HG ignorance to Judaism, I felt like he was about to crack, literally open, and Mel Brooks was going to rise out of the Kosher King’s remains. Oh god. I know what I will end up nightmare-ing about tonight. Sigh. Now I’m making up words too.

Oh, and Britney’s faux-pas “get off scotch-free”?!?!

Epic FAIL. It’s scot-free dumbass. So says this Korean-American immigrant.

All. Time. Low.

5 comments:

  1. Great blog, Jun!

    As always..

    Sigh...

    How I miss you...

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  2. Jun, how could I have forgotten about your blog? Well I wasn't even sure you would be doing it this year with everything else you have going on. *wink*

    Always love your take on BB and that bizarre sense of humor that shines through in everything you do.

    Love Love Love ya Sweetness!

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  3. HAHA, I miss you guys too dear Carolyn!!!

    GaYToR, where the freak have you been?! I love love love you too Tartness!

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  4. Jun, would love for these HG to just get a little taste of your class! Can't wait to see your next blog on Rachael's week in HOH.

    So glad you are doing this, your perspective is the best!

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  5. Thanks Rhonda! I still have some catching up to do, amazing how time flies and you miss a whole week while traveling! :)

    ReplyDelete