Thursday, August 13, 2009

The House of (Black and) Blues - BB11 Ep 14 - Tue 8/11/09

In response to the overwhelming response of responses regarding my Kimchi comment. For the record, I am not a “lover” of kimchi, but certainly can enjoy it 2-3 times a month. But that's why I want the HGs to have to eat that sh*t for a week!

Now, I AM a lover of other things, and I get as much of that sh*t as much as I can. We can discuss offline.

I will quote my good friend Dr. Seuss (IndigoPrince, we think alike):

I would not, could not, in my house.
I could not, would not, with BB louse.
I will not eat it with a boy.
I will not eat it with rice or soy.
I will not eat it here or there.
I will not eat it anywhere.
I do not eat that foul kimchi.
I do not like it, Jun-I-be!

You know the house is an unstable one when before the show even begins, our narrator tells us “All Hell Broke Loose.”

Serious question. Are Chima’s boobs real? I was debating this with my little mama while watching this episode. I said no, she seemed to think yes. Verdict anyone?

I’m not gonna lie. I tried the look the ladies on the show have been rocking lately. You know. Tying string around your head across the forehead? Yeah. Um. I recently received a box of truffles (thank you Indira!) and I took the brown ribbon on the box and tied that sh*t around my head.

It was wrong. I looked like I was a rice paddy worker by day and Koreana: Warrior Princess by night.

I am all for Chima wearing a hat though.

RUSSELL: I wish he had an on/off switch readily available to prevent all the rumbles. I can't tell if it's part of his strategy or he's just been lucky in getting away with his losses in temper. I mean, I know I told him I like space, but daddy's burning the roof of mama's mouth!

Damnit. I screwed myself. I keep picturing Russell as the mongoose. I should have never doctored that picture, it keeps popping up randomly when I’m looking at my albums. If he grows anymore facial hair, he’s gonna totally distract me from his yumminess!

MICHELE: Michele, physics? Designing and creating? WTF do those have to do with what the mongoose is asking you?! And her hosting job of the POV Competition was as awkward as most any footage that can be found of her. She’s disappointing me a bit, I thought she’d be funnier. In general. I mean, I'm not gonna ask for a refund quite yet, but i'm holding on to that receipt. I know my rights damnit! This is America!

“What’s up nutcase?” Hahahaha, Russell sure knows how to push Michele’s buttons. I’m gonna use that one! I will wait for the perfect moment in the next few days and use it. I will.

Oh good lord. This house is a crew of misery isn’t it? Have some fun kids! Relax! They looked like tortured souls prepping for the POV competition. I mean like, really, there are worse things going on but when you’re in that house your woes consist of only BB sh*t.

I mean, they have no idea that Douchebag Ed screwed Jillian over. The Swine Flu Summit happened in um, Mexico. AND. Marky Mark is now a married man.

Thank goodness some chicken wire and feathers lightened the mood. Funny how the guys in the competition were much more adept with maneuvering their fingers around those little confined spaces? Not surprising though.

NATALIE: Watching Natalie fail repeatedly during the POV made me feel like I won the lottery. Not a major one. But enough to buy some Louis Vuitton luggage not flinch.
Speaking of Natalie, JESSIE: It’s funny how he is so focused and all about the eye contact when it’s his agenda. But when someone’s trying to talk HIM, he is SO dismissive to the point of rude! Haha. Come on dude, at least TRY harder for strategy’s sake! You’re so easy to read.

BEST QUOTE OF THE NIGHT goes to KEVIN: “I have tiny asian hands.” Sigh. Oh the places I could go with this. Picture on my brain attached…I can’t help it! The girl can't help it!

CHIMA: Her face revealed the truth during that fight with Russell. I watched the scene and thought something was off. Then Carolyn, my BB guardian angel, told me there had been some heavy editing done. Me no likey. Yes, Russell’s been pretty explosive on more than one or four occasions, but Chima’s use of “terrorist” was intentional. Own it HE-ma, don’t go back peddling…unless it’s off the BB set.

LYDIA: Oh, I see she went to American Apparel before heading into the house. I can’t tell if it’s the circle scarf of the hooded scarf she’s rocking. I was just in there today (and a week ago, I have a weakness for shopping in stores that attract pedophiles apparently)…and I saw it hanging on the rack. I thought about buying it. For like 12 seconds, and then didn’t.

Kevin!!! Did you REALLY not use the veto on your bff?! You are such a “poopy bear!” I told my momz and she was like “Leally?! Like, leally?! That’s not the nice!”

PS: I would like someone to grant my wish. I would like to be either Russell’s or Jeff’s t-shirt for a day. Preferably on a day when they’re sweating a lot.

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