Monday, September 28, 2009
herbs for final 25 minutes). Bake both for an hour on 375.
PS: I also made a loaf of the metaloaf. But the individual ramekins are a nice touch for one-on-one meals :) Purrrrrrr
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Yuca Bar CONSISTENTLY has good food and...good portions :). I had a yummy brunch today, with equally yummy company. Could a girl ask for anything more?!?!
You might see me there on any given day tho I warn you (especially when Sergio is working ) :)
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
I am the proud new owner of a Portable Frigidaire Dishwasher. Yes, they exist. Previously I had only heard of this urban myth-of-a-household helper.
I won't be taking this dishwasher anywhere despite it being "portable". But I will be rolling it to and 'fro between my sink and pantry (where it is stored) like it's my JOB!
This should be interesting, I get to handle a hose and pipe. I love being single on days like these.
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Sunday, September 20, 2009
But I couldn't do it Because I've been making fun of the fleece f*ckers since I first saw one in person. But I secretly coveted one.
My girlfriends Bachul and Nicole came over to watch the Giants game. And...um, watch John Madden scare children just at the sight of him?!
Somehow we got online to order Snuggies. Nicole swore there was a buy one-get one deal going on and I believed her. I believe most things that she shares. So I bought six. Yes, I went online to buy two, one for me and one for Nicole. And I bought S I X.
It's the deals they kept offering me!!!
I am a sucker. But I will be a snuggied sucker. Booyah.
B & N: I will alert you when ur new addition arrives in the mail. 2-6 weeks?!?! Sigh...I want one now.
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, September 18, 2009
of couples staying together by living apart.
"Sociologists have a name for committed couples who live separately:
And i just thought it was still called "commitment phobia." This is
truly rocket science.
Having been there and done that, I realize this isn't about thinking
differently on where to live but HOW.
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Thursday, September 17, 2009
Although a Korean dish, the greens in the pancake are called "Chinese chives" or Gao Choy* (stronger in taste than chives in the US).
The accompanying sauce is homemade and fairly simple. Soy, white vinegar, sugar and chopped scallion...
*The leaves are flat and cook quickly. Be sure to use within 3 days as they are particularly fragile little fuckers. But they taste oh so good...
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Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
After a week in Mexico (8/29 - 9/5), family drama (mostly caused by my brother's gf), Labor Day weekend in South Hampton, attack of the clingy new boytoy, and a social butterfly of a girlfriend staying with me this past week (9/5 - 9/14), my shit is very loose.
I need to get it together.
Here are some highlights from my family (plus my brother's gf) vacation:
- Realizing I had taken over for my dad as the glue that holds our family together.
- Being one of the hottest things at that hotel, save for the jalapenos they laid into the salsa everyday. Holy burning booty hole the next day!
- Purchasing 3 new bikinis while there...and making 3 new friends too! Shout to Nina, Jos and Jo! I will never forget naked karaoke.
-Having a tiff with my brother's gf RIGHT before our trip...and harboring some hurt at the start of the trip.
- Having a tiff with my brother's gf on the SECOND TO LAST DAY of our trip...and now having to plot her fall from grace. Bleeding b*tches out slowly is what I do.
All in all, the staff at the hotel loved me, my boobs always looked great...
and I came home with a scandalous tan...
Oh, and my mom, my brother and I had an amazing time and only grew closer.
As for the rest, I'll deal with it my way.
I'm back kids, miss me?!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I’m happy to report my move went smoothly, save for a few people in my life who flaked on me big time. Like, how rude. And like, I am the last person on the island of Manhattan you want putting you on their poop list. I missed my last blog because I was pinned underneath a few boxes, but I found my way out and I’m back!
Jeff’s “It was a long time waiting, I finally got it” after winning the HOH made me, for three seconds, think that he finally GOT SOME from Jordan. Then I regained my composure and realized he meant HOH. Phew. Crisis averted. Btw, is Jeff losing weight?! NO! Please make him eat more. It’s easy, just take some food away from Jordan’s gaping mouth and give it to Jeff!!!
Jeff’s “various stages of hotness” (Kevin’s words, not mine) will go down as the most satisfying 23 seconds of my BB-watching career. Yes, career, it’s like a fulltime job come summer time. Geez.
BEST QUOTE EVER goes to, of course, Jeff: “If I’m there for 7 nights, I’m not just making out the whole time.” This was in response to Jordan wanting him to take her with him on his prized trip to Hawaii. Like, seriously Jeff, if you took me I would thank you every second of the trip. Like, every second. Sigh. Unless you want to marry Jordan, well then, I would be happy for the both of you. But I still think you should have last fling with a cute Korean chick who won Big Brother. I know of one…you should know of me too…biblically.
Holy macaronis, can someone tell me where Jeff came from? Is Chicago “code” for The Whole Packageville?! I’ve been to Chicago, and I didn’t find no men like Jeff.
I’m not gonna lie. I felt all nervous inside watching clips of Jeff and Jordan’s first fight(s). I guess I DO want them to work out even if I’d be jealous of “Jordo”.
Don’t get me wrong, I like being scolded every now and again. Okay, I like being scolded a lot. And if it was Jeff doing the scolding, then sign me up because mama needs some good punishment! I think Jeff is just completely frustrated and is letting it out. Good for him. He must have the bluest balls since Papa Smurf was rocking them hardcore.
It’s cute though that Jordan got all pouty and “threatened” to sleep downstairs with the rest of the HGs. Um, she got far, like to the edge of the bed. Love it. Break up…to make up…learn it, live it.
Did anyone else have trouble focusing on Kevin’s spotlight on his life and being gay? They put the camera on Russell for a bit, remember? And after that, all I could do was stare at Russell’s crotch?! Am I crazy?! Tell me I’m not alone! Oh, and also…did anyone else notice that weird bump in Jeff’s pants when he was sitting in that big swivel chair in HOH talking to Michele and Jordan? I know it was just the pants/zipper, but still.
My freaking mind is SO in the gutter this week…and every week…and I hope this never changes until I’m picking out a casket. Yes, I am going to pick out my own casket knowing my OCD a*s.
Sigh…the memories…this time my season it had been down to Me, Ali, Erika, Robert, Jee, Jack…and our little 6-some had paired up alliances too. Oh what fun it is to hide…in multiple alliance rides!
POV Ceremony: Hahahaha the bananas, I love it! They brought back Casey! I am so happy they did! How friggin’ funny that I said I wanted Casey back to host a wet t-shirt contest BB-style…and we get to have him host something after all?! OTEV! This was suoiralih. DEVOL TI! Okay, enough with the backwards spelling fad. I couldn’t help it tho!
How ironic that again, Natalie never got Jessie’s banana in the end. Loser. Loved It! And now SHE’S sporting the string-around-the-head thing?!
Jeff grooving to Casey’s little raps? Hot! I wanna dance with him! He asked me to dance! It said on his t-shirt “Let’s Dance” as clear as day! Y’all just couldn’t see the “Jun” after it…it was invisible ink.
If this isn’t Jeff’s week, I don’t know what is. Hello HOH and POV Holder and winner of the KEY to my chastity belt? The one to my heart can come later. Like, when I actually meet him.
Another power play by Jeff, attempting to knock out the artist formerly known as the Mongoose who was formerly known as the Shotgun who was formerly known as the Russell the Love Muscle. Oy vey!
Let’s see what happens on Thursday kids!
PS: Big thank you to JulieB for leading me to all these great pictures I’ve been able to add to the blogs. Love you girl!
PPS: FYI, I will be roasting my Korean a*s in Mexico starting Saturday and then partying it up in S. Hampton for Labor Day weekend so the Thursday Live Show will be the last blog I write until after the holiday. Just giving y’all ample notice…where did I pick up “y’all” from all of a sudden?!?! Syn, do you see your affect on me?!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Incidentally, I had to watch the live show the next day because I had to attend and initiation meeting. Initiation to what, you ask? A super-secret, super-cool, super-duper Scrabble Club! Woohoo!
I’m not gonna lie, I was kinda scared that I’d show up and have to take my clothes off in the middle of a circle of Scrabble worshippers or something. I even waxed a day early just in case. But it was just scrabble it turns out. Oh what fun. So I get home after FOUR HOURS of serious Scrabble (um, no one told me real sh*t was TIMED?! English is my second language! Hahaha).
I flip on the recorded live show and one of the first things I see is Chenbot with what looks like hair that’s 14 inches high?! I had to rewind and play again because I thought she was now a spokeswoman for Bumpit!
She looks so happy. She's rocking the whole glow thing. Very purty.
Sigh. Kevin is so cute. He really is. I feel like he’s cuter when he’s sad than when he’s happy. When he’s happy he’s just hilarious, but when he’s sad, well…he pulls at my heart strings.
Ew. I can’t believe Natalie asked Lydia how many times she hooked up with Jessie. Ew. Like, I seriously don’t need to know you know? Ew!!
Oh, and what, now all of a sudden Natalie and Lydia have a need to start “healing the wound that Jessie created?!” Ew! What wound? Was it a bite mark? Like, seriously? Those go away on their own, no need to be so dramatic you idiots.
Like seriously, we’re like 10 minutes into the show at this point and I’m doing my best to come up with some interesting sh*t.
Oh, now I remember. This was pretty interesting. Jordan shaving her legs in the bathtub?! Ew! The clip they showed was like 3 seconds but my reaction to it lasted at least 9 seconds. I was so grossed out! How do you SHAVE while you’re taking a bath?! All those little shavings being all up in your cho-cha, ew! Jordan, where did you learn that?! Ew Ew (this being a double-ew)
And then when Chenbot asks her about taking baths in the BB house, Jordan actually mentions shaving her legs in the HOH bedroom when Russell was HOH. It was as if Jordan was reading my mind and knew how grossed out I was. Again, ew!
Wait, have I mentioned how BORING this live show was?! It was really hard to keep my eyes open at 3am to watch it. Why 3am? Well, after Scrabble my girlfriend Gina (um, btw, an AMAZING catch) and I went for late-night Korean food. We went to a spot in K-town (Korea, not Kevin) where the last time I was there I was sitting one table away from Chef Morimoto. Fun!
Okay, clearly, I’m filling in a lot of personal stuff in this blog because we’re like 18 minutes into the live show and coming up with entertaining writing is proving quite difficult. It’s like the first day of 3rd grade again and writing an essay about what you did over the summer. Like, at age 8 any of the essays are going to be very interesting?! I would always write about summer camp and my mom sending me off with 300 pairs of underwear. If you have yours still, send it to me and I will be the judge, haha.
Oh wait, wait…it’s the POV Competition! How exciting! Not. Oh good lord, it went on forever and then it got down to Michele and Jordan. I wish the Chenbot had them hosed down wet t-shirt style…then Casey could have popped out and MC’d! Now THAT would have been a tie-breaking treat.
Like seriously, when Lydia got booted, and Natalie thanked everyone I thought she was going to break out a chest bump! Ew. She scares me. I’m afraid she could bruise me with one finger.
But then again, I bruise easy. I just do. My mom always asks me why I have what looks like finger prints on my neck, except they’re bruises.
I nearly fell off my couch when Lydia talked a big talk about needing ice packs in the sequester house. Not because I fell asleep. But who is Lydia kidding? Those ice packs will be used to cool down and ease the swelling of, um, body parts I bet. Ew. After all, I think she and Jessie will hug it out as soon as she gets there. I think I’m gonna use that…”I need a hug” will be code for “`I need…”
Um, Chenbot, say what? Recycling has been a theme this summer? Right. I think Recycling Crazies has been the theme my asian sister-from-another-mother.
Speaking of mothers, I’m always talking about mine. The proof is in the pudding (recent picture of my momz attached, and we are all natural baby).
OKAY. This was the stupidest HOH Competition ever. It’s very similar to the one from my season where we had to drop ping-pong balls one at a time out of water coolers into tubes. Like, ew, this competition seemed so ghetto (and not in a fabulous way!)! Bootleg Big Brother!
And this show didn’t even give us enough of the HOTNESS Factor (aka Jeff and Russell hotness)!!! It really didn't. I feel cheated.
This show was a mess. I don’t want to say it, but I miss Chima. HAHAHAHAHA. Ew, did I really say that?
PS: I am in the middle of a move so please excuse the brevity and otherwise diary room session type of blog this time. Sigh. I am the busiest unemployed chick I know…but happiest!
PPS: How many "Ew"s can you count in this one blog?
While I was researching, all these weird ads popped up...boob job stuff...lipo stuff...epicanthal fold stuff (if you don't know what this is):
From Wikipedia (epicanthal fold) - An epicanthic fold, epicanthal fold, or epicanthus is a skin fold of the upper eyelid (from the nose to the inner side of the eyebrow) covering the inner corner of the eye. In some Asian ethnicities, the presence of an epicanthic fold is associated with a less prominent upper eyelid crease, commonly termed "single eyelids" as opposed to "double eyelids".
Basically, mad Asians get this surgery to look more "western", whatevs.
So then, this picture kept popping up about some Asian chick who got all these plastic surgeries to look like a white chick! I don't know who she is, but damn, she must be loaded cuz she's come a long way! So I had to share :).
I just want to get Lasik.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
When asked “What is your motto?”
I answered “What goes around really does come right back around.”
Back to present day. I still believe it. If you are a facebook user you will see my quote is "What goes around definitely comes right back around, seriously." My point? It’s woven all over the place into this blog.
Enough ConfuJunism. Onto the Tuesday night show talk.
FACT: A friendship with Chima is not worth $500K according to Michele. Is there anyone out there who will start the bid at $500K then?! Going…going…
FICTION: Chima “left” the game on her own accord.
WHAT?! Expelled? Ahem. Chima was expelled?! Yes. I see.
I love that CBS not only put it out there, but they BACKED IT UP. We ALL know that Chima’s next move would have been to say she “planned” her “voluntary departure” by throwing her microphone in the water (clear violation of contract).
So CBS shows footage from four other days during the course of the season to show this isn’t the first time Chima’s broken the rules. And apparently, they’re okay with showing that they ALLOWED her to break them? Hmmm, okay.
BTW, did you guys catch the 60 Minutes on Sunday with Chris Martin? Remember he shows us Coldplay’s list of rules and says “The rules are important”?! Sigh. He’s so smart. He totally called it, even if he didn’t know it.
Anywho, not to digress. Chima can’t say she had “planned” her exit with all her antics either. I mean, really? You went into this thinking you were going to “threaten” a broadcasting system that’s existed since 1928?! No. Exactly.
Boy was someone high on the food chain pissed off about this one. We got to see Chima finally enter the Diary Room only to be told to use the door and get the f*ck out. Ouch. Yum. That was delish.
If you wanted to go down in infamy, you could have at least had a piece of Russell and quenched all our thirsts for what that would be like. Even a morsel…a nibble, a suckle…ANYTHING. Damn you woman! You couldn’t let us live vicariously?!
This show is entertaining and all, but when you walk in that BB door you have to say buh-bye to many basic rights. I don’t think Chima is capable of this…sure for a few weeks. And I don’t see her as a “sore” loser. I think Lydia’s a sore loser. I think Chima needs more time and healing from her horrendous experience (her brutal rape).
In anticipation of writing this next blog, I re-watched last week’s episode where Chima tells us all about it. Yes, I did. It made me rethink my take on her “expulsion” from the house.
I think she needs to start talking to someone. I’m not a fan of medicating an illness at first blush, but she should to start talking to someone. Losing control during a brutal rape then regaining it to the point of having such control issues is what probably drove her to madness in this game.
I hope she’s with her family and shutting out the world. At least for a while.
Muah-hahaha. What a loser. Don’t jump all over me, you are technically a loser. Loser. So glad you got some reality knocked into you. Take it and run with it. I will watch you on the next Charm School for “The Girls of Big Brother.” I promise. Take a break and we’ll see you in the fall.
FACT: 99% of the loudspeaker messages in the BB house are recorded. This is, as my mom would call it, a “neh-suss-suh-rhee” (necessary) evil. There’s no human that would be able to repeat “Chima, please put on your microphone” in a steady tone of voice with all her antics. (Btw, there is no “v” in Korean so my mom also butchers “evil.” Ah, what fun.)
FICTION: Allison Grodner does not have tons of free time (therefore, the fact that she had to take time out of her full life to come talk to Chima is, as Kevin would say, REdonkulous!!
FACT: Team Spunk has lost all sense of reality. Or they’ve got Early-Onset Alzheimer’s (relax, my grandpops is a sufferer). Um, the roles are merely reversed and they can’t seem to handle the pain! Kevin is so sad. He makes me sad too because it’s so genuine. I would be sad if my chances at being in a majority group died. Chima totally screwed them.
FICTION: Team Spunk has the potential to come back and redeem themselves. Oh, and Chima did a great job representing strong women.
I wanted to throw something at my television watching that Natalie / Lydia / Kevin Debate of Big Brother 2009. It was entertaining to watch, but I felt like I was wasting precious seconds of my life that I could have used to make money.
NATALIE: I hope Natalie goes home and watches every second of footage of herself. Even if she doesn’t learn a major lesson, perhaps she’ll learn something. During the house meeting, she had the nerve to look PISSED that she was being taken off the block?! And then this creepy crawly smile found it’s way to her face. Oh, so after learning there’s an HOH and Michele can’t compete you’re all smiley smiles? Blech.
Poor Michele, her power and privileges were short-lived but at least she got “rid” of Chima right?
And I suppose, according to Natalie’s theory, this is where Michele is supposed to break all the rules and it be okay?
HOH Competition aka JEFF time: Um, Jeff looked delicious in his golf gear. He looked like a cajun ribeye with the bone in it. I always like working that bone to make sure I got the meat. NEVER leave protein unfinished.
As homage to my last blog…and to the 90 degree weather we’ve been having here in NY, I have transformed Jeff into a yummy popsicle. I will be taking orders soon, so you will have to act fast!
This man’s got skillz! Holes-in-one all over the place! I want Jeff to score my hole-in-one. He is F*CKING amazing. And most people might thing his “K-town!” was meant for Kevin, but it was actually meant for me. Koreatown!
OMG, AND he’s an ass-smacker! HELLO! I want one NOW, I don’t care how much shipping and delivery is. I know a good deal when I see one, and Jeff is it.
FACT: I am way into both Jeff and Russell.
FICTION: I want to MARRY both Jeff and Russell. No, no, no. On the contrary, I want Jeff to be my baby daddy / hubby and I want Russell to be my trainer / bodyguard / cabana boy / wrestling coach.
I am having images of Jordan joining in on my fun too…but I would probably gag her to start.
Um, LYDIA: Claiming America handed Jess Coup de Crap power was kinda funny, but only long enough for me to swallow. This girl’s got lower tolerance for alcohol than I do, or she has a drinking problem. I wonder which CBS wants us to believe.
Those must have been some potent mimosas because girlfriend got BELLIGERENT!
And I, for one, was happy she got the Super Hero Unitard. I think she is the only one left in the house who could rock it as an outfit and not as a costume!
WTF happened during that HOH Competition? I was possessed by Cruella, she was possessed by Chima!
JORDAN: Poor baby Jordan got bullied by Lydia big time! She was called, EGADS, a “ho-puppet!” I mean, I get it. Lydia said Jordan’s a “ho” and she’s Jeff and Russell “puppet” therefore the math tell us that she’s a “ho-puppet.”
The important thing here is whether this alleged ho-puppet is a marionette or a muppet. Because to me, a ho who’s a puppet is more a finger puppet than anything else. Then hell, I’m guilty too! Insert fingers and add vocals right? Haven’t we all been ho-puppets then? I know I enjoy being one.
Holy Volatility! Post-HOH Competition was insane! Michele was awesome, and for the first time she seemed alive!
I needed a diaper-change after Jeff yelled at Lydia to “Get comfortable. You ain’t going nowhere.” All he needed to do was yank out handcuffs from his back pocket and I would have put up a “Do Not Disturb” sign up on my door. As a matter of fact, I am going to look for fresh batteries now in preparation for the Live Show. Come on Jeff, do it for mama.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I knew there would be nothing on Sunday’s show about Chima’s disappearance. Still, I kept wishing some glitch in the system would give us something early. Sigh.
I was also waiting for some National Geographic style moments since Chima promised us “wild animal style” the prior week, but still, nothing. Sigh.
Major disappointment all-around. Not a complete wash though.
I still had a good night though. Highlight of my evening was being possessed for a few seconds. I swear, Cruella Deville took hold of my body Sunday night. When the hags were crying over Jessie, I let out this really guttural cackle that took me by surprise! I sounded so evil!
It was like, I couldn’t wait to get pen to paper and cruciblog Natalie, Chima and Lydia! Can you believe the TEARS they shed for him?!
Sigh, can we talk about how HOT Jeff was that whole time Chima was trying to break him down? Like, his body language was perfection! NEVER let them see your body react, it’s like blood to a CHark, I mean shark.
He made my panties feel too tight as he stood his ground. HAWT! I mean COME ON Chimacus, even Jessie managed to get out a “It’s a good move…” to Jeff!
CHIMA: She was SO articulate Sunday evening.
“Russell, kiss my a*s.” Who can blame her right?! Russell can be so intense. He just jumps from zero to $500K in 2 seconds!
“Jeff, shut the f*ck up.” Well then. I am glad Chima let out her feelings in real time.
I envy Chima. It must be so refreshing to be able to do that without fear of recourse. She is SUCH a strong woman that way isn’t she? Sigh…she’s swell.
The section above was the nice version of the Chima Review.
NATALIE: Wahhh, wah, wah…there’s no such thing as “bad versus good” in the BB house my precious little angel. Get with the program! And if you can’t, then work on your presence in a room - ahem, starting with LESS of it.
I swear Natalie made my glass of milk curdle every time she spoke! Yes, I was having milk because yes, I was having cookies.
CHIMA: Really a-hole?! Jessie’s departure was like a family member dying? I took so much offense to that I almost forgot what year it was.
Oh, and all this big talk about woman power. Oh, so is that what strong women do? Gamble 100% on one outcome and then call someone a terrorist thinking you’re in the clear?
Chima said she “believes in karma.” Um, yes. I am glad you do. Do you believe in it for everyone?! Meaning: It applies to you too a-hole.
This part has been the less-than-nice-but-still-nice version of the Chima Review.
LYDIA: HOLY COW. Ohhhh, so Jessie got in your heart, not your head?! Is that why you’re bawling like Dae Yum Yum ran away with that little whore Yae Dum Dum?! Sigh. Unicorns are so fickle.
JEFF: You can semantics if YOU want! Someone please please please put that on a child’s XL t-shirt and send it to me! I will pay for raw materials and shipping! But don’t have some child or illegal immigrant do it please, it would hurt my heart. Unless you didn’t tell me, then it would be okay I guess.
O-O-O-Who’s that boy with the Coup D’Etat Cookie?
Lickin' up the creamy power
Like before his clique went coward
Oh, that yummy O-O-O-Coup-D’Etat!
Oreos always did it for me as a kid. Jeff satiates the kid in me NOW. His “I think we’re getting paranoid” to Russell made me love him even more. As cool as a cucumber he is. As nourishing as a banana he is. As refreshing as a popsicle…etc., etc., etc.
CHIMA: Sigh. You know, I was thinking that sometimes Chima looks really pretty. Sometimes. Depending on the camera angle and the amount of blotter diminishing the shine on her face. Sometimes.
This was the indifferent version of the Chima Review.
MICHELE: I fell asleep with my eyes open as she read the cue card hosting the Have Not Competition. My contacts got all dried out and discombobulated that it made me see 4 Chimas for a split second. It’s all Michele’s fault.Her screeching “Mon-DAYYY?! Tues-DAYYY?!?! Wednes-DAYYY?!...”gave me indigestion. That, and all the butter I had on my baked potato tonight. Yum.
I felt bad that warmth of Michele’s sweet and victorious HOH room unveiling was cooled down by all the gameplay. Call me crazy, but I thought Lydia was kinda sincere during that event? But still. This house is BROKEN right now.
My mom loves to “lee-tun” broken things btw. She gets all intense like she’s fighting some monster or something. “It’s only a return mom, relax, you don’t even have the receipt for it!” But she always gets her way somehow. And the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree did it?
Hey, did anyone else notice that “Bring It On” by Braden? (For the record, I typed out “Branden” at first before checking myself. So sad that most people won’t even remember him come next year. His “Bring It On” was reminiscent of a game show from the 80s…like Double Dare or something. Sigh.
JESSIE’S SPUNK: Watching these three girls “toast” Jessie was like tripping on ecstasy. There was nothing hostile in my brain, just lots of other feelings. My sweet younger cousin, Miran, was visiting and we watched the show together actually.
I couldn’t even look my cousin in the eye because I was so embarrassed for them. And I’ve been ON the show. Like, these are the chicks that have evolved from seasons past?! Ew! They are like those folks that bring the real estate value down in your neighborhood. I am a BB alum and I want to be proud! Ew.KEVIN: OMG. His “REdonkulous” faces had me LOVING him! He is right on about the way Jessie’s Spunk was carrying on. Like, really?!
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight that Kevin come entertain me for one night!
(Do stay out of the sun though Darling Kevin, you’re getting discoloration on your forehead! Don’t forget you’re “blackinese” and therefore, susceptible to sun damage!)
Kudos to the sound / editing crew at CBS for all the wonderful soundtracks this summer. All the violin music, sound effects, dramatic overtures, they’ve all been great! ESPECIALLY that Nickelodeon-wanna-be sound when we saw the “CHAOSSEROLE!!!” Brilliant! Loved it! Made me want to enter that house for one more food competition! Not!
Could the HGs have been anymore angry and cranky during the Have Not Competition?! Kevin calling Lydia “barky” and “butchy” was superb. A++ to Kevin.
Jeff and Jordan are ADORABLE. I feel like a broken record. Sigh. Reminds me of my old records…my fav being “Wham!” with “Wake me up before you go-go…” I miss records. I will, however, miss the J&J wedding if in fact it happens. It would hurt too much to watch.
I am SO SO SO happy that Michele won. I can’t believe Natalie was trying to tell her who to “forgive” or not. Puh-lease, keep walking with that testosterone Natalie, nobody wants to hear it here.
Um Chima’s “You do what you want” to Michele? Yes. Exactly. And then she breaks out with a menacing “You’ve been forewarned…” to Michele? Are you kidding me?! Chima meant “forehead” right?! “You’ve been forehead?!”
NOMINATION CEREMONY: The order Michele goes in is totally personal which I found so ironic given her speech. I mean, the order in which the keys are pulled is VERY telling. INTENSE. That Ceremony was crazy stressful! One of the better ones I think.
Sigh…Russell carried the Nomination Box back for Michele. HAWT. You have no idea how heavy that friggin’ thing is. But he didn’t think twice to carry it for her so she could walk off like the lab technician she is. Right. And I’m just okay in bed.
PS: There is no racist version of the Chima Review to be found! For more on my thoughts surrounding last week’s “racist” accusations, you can check out my personal blog. Thank you to everyone who is supportive. It will take a HECK of a lot more to “scare” me away from anything tho. Ask my lawyer. Teehee.
Monday, August 17, 2009
…sexist for objectifying Jeff the way I do. He is more than welcome to reciprocate.
…bi-thiest because I also "worship" Russell. And I regularly carry out multiple hubby scenarios in my head (also makes my a polygamist I think).
…resistentialist for believing Chima is an “inanimate” object displaying malice towards humans. Oh, and a bigforeheadaphobist too I am.
…trialist because I truly believe that Michele never has all three components together at once (mind, body and spirit). The girl always seems to have a disconnect somewhere!
…nativist, because as much as I harp on Jordan’s lack of conventional intellect, I know she was born that way. We can’t fault her for that. Lord knows you can’t buy FBS (Fluffy Brain Syndrome) at a store, it’s something you’re born with.
…stoicist for wishing Lydia a current of electric shock every time she gets all sappy about Jessie. UGH. Stop it!
…somatist, because despite my best efforts at “digging” on Kevin, the only things I can ever come up with are fashion-related. So I’m a little materialistic too.
…pejorist because I truly don’t believe I could ever like Natalie. Never, It’s not going to happen, and I’m pretty open-minded about a lot of things. Oh god, I'm sounding old.
...adevist for not believing in Jessie…you know, the myth, the man, the legend?
And last but not least I am a REALIST. Please, join me. Sign up. It’s free.
With all that out of the way now, please be rest assume that I am NOT a racist. Ask anyone who has spent longer than an elevator ride with me and you will know that. Unless you don’t WANT to believe that I am not. In that case, I can’t help you.
F*ck off my air supply. Save it for someone who DIDN’T grow up the only Korean girl in the lower east side in the 80s!
Now, let’s move on so I can continue to share with those who read willingly.
PS: Clearly this is in response to being called a "racist" in my writing related to BB11 Houseguests. Whatevs.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
No, no, no, I know Chenbot was referring to Jeff having the Coup D’etat. I usually tune her out, but for whatever reason I hit rewind to hear that first line again. And for whatever reason, it had a hint of sex in it “jeff has it…russell and lydia desperately need it.” Am I crazy? I know someone out there agrees with me.
There was a point watching the show where I thought “Wow, Kevin’s lower lip is super full and juicy why did I never notice that?” Oh, but then HEma’s face popped up on my screen and f*ck if anyone has fuller lips than that queen. I remembered that why I’ve never noticed anyone else’s lips. Not even Jeff’s. But that’s because I’m just “imagining” them.
And really, the split screen of the Kevin and Chima last night? Kevin’s yellow plaid shirt / purple and grey scarf and Chima’s blue dress and matching eye shadow looks like vomit all over my television screen. Just wrong. Turned my stomach.
NATALIE: “Jessie and I…Jessie and I…me and Jessie…” Yeah. Basically, she was saying that she and Jessie were failing, at LIFE.
I am typing this next part standing up. Because when I watched it, it made me stand up. I was out of my chair pacing and pointing at my tv cackling as I watched this next part.
Jeff completes me. He just does. Well, at least for the role of my “tv husband.” Cuz you know we ladies all have “work” husbands, and “bbdish” husbands, and “church” husbands…gosh, this reminds me of “forest” husbands from that movie at the beginning of the year, Defiance. I think I’m one of 238 people who actually watched it.
Her grandparents had me ROLLING on the floor choking. I’m sure the maryjane caused the coughing, but the laughing definitely had me choking.
“Feel the block…feel the pain,” Jeff said. I, for one, would LOVE to feel his block. Besides, Jordan and I have so much in common I don’t see why he COULDN’T swap her out for me once the show is over. I have a picture to prove it see?
Lydia’s face was priceless. Chima’s face was priceless. Natalie’s was clearly worth $500K from the look on her face. It was like watching an auction at Christie’s…although I’m more a Sotheby’s kinda girl.
JESSIE: WTF was that parting speech he gave?! My MOTHER could have given a more coherent speech in her KONGLISH (Korean-English)!
When Jessie got booted I could barely swallow the bite of Thai Curry Puff that was in my mouth I was so excited! Oh good lord, have I already mentioned that this has been like the best live show ever (yes yes Marcellus, relax boo, you’re still my number one)?!
Think about this one dear Chima. Think about it in a dark and damp cave filled with hibernating bears. Stay there until spring time.
Friday, August 14, 2009
By the way, if you use the sound “toh” on its own, it actually means vomit. So be careful.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
In response to the overwhelming response of responses regarding my Kimchi comment. For the record, I am not a “lover” of kimchi, but certainly can enjoy it 2-3 times a month. But that's why I want the HGs to have to eat that sh*t for a week!
Now, I AM a lover of other things, and I get as much of that sh*t as much as I can. We can discuss offline.
I will quote my good friend Dr. Seuss (IndigoPrince, we think alike):
I would not, could not, in my house.
I could not, would not, with BB louse.
I will not eat it with a boy.
I will not eat it with rice or soy.
I will not eat it here or there.
I will not eat it anywhere.
I do not eat that foul kimchi.
I do not like it, Jun-I-be!
You know the house is an unstable one when before the show even begins, our narrator tells us “All Hell Broke Loose.”
Serious question. Are Chima’s boobs real? I was debating this with my little mama while watching this episode. I said no, she seemed to think yes. Verdict anyone?
I’m not gonna lie. I tried the look the ladies on the show have been rocking lately. You know. Tying string around your head across the forehead? Yeah. Um. I recently received a box of truffles (thank you Indira!) and I took the brown ribbon on the box and tied that sh*t around my head.
It was wrong. I looked like I was a rice paddy worker by day and Koreana: Warrior Princess by night.
I am all for Chima wearing a hat though.
RUSSELL: I wish he had an on/off switch readily available to prevent all the rumbles. I can't tell if it's part of his strategy or he's just been lucky in getting away with his losses in temper. I mean, I know I told him I like space, but daddy's burning the roof of mama's mouth!
Damnit. I screwed myself. I keep picturing Russell as the mongoose. I should have never doctored that picture, it keeps popping up randomly when I’m looking at my albums. If he grows anymore facial hair, he’s gonna totally distract me from his yumminess!
MICHELE: Michele, physics? Designing and creating? WTF do those have to do with what the mongoose is asking you?! And her hosting job of the POV Competition was as awkward as most any footage that can be found of her. She’s disappointing me a bit, I thought she’d be funnier. In general. I mean, I'm not gonna ask for a refund quite yet, but i'm holding on to that receipt. I know my rights damnit! This is America!
“What’s up nutcase?” Hahahaha, Russell sure knows how to push Michele’s buttons. I’m gonna use that one! I will wait for the perfect moment in the next few days and use it. I will.
Oh good lord. This house is a crew of misery isn’t it? Have some fun kids! Relax! They looked like tortured souls prepping for the POV competition. I mean like, really, there are worse things going on but when you’re in that house your woes consist of only BB sh*t.
I mean, they have no idea that Douchebag Ed screwed Jillian over. The Swine Flu Summit happened in um, Mexico. AND. Marky Mark is now a married man.
Thank goodness some chicken wire and feathers lightened the mood. Funny how the guys in the competition were much more adept with maneuvering their fingers around those little confined spaces? Not surprising though.
NATALIE: Watching Natalie fail repeatedly during the POV made me feel like I won the lottery. Not a major one. But enough to buy some Louis Vuitton luggage not flinch.
Speaking of Natalie, JESSIE: It’s funny how he is so focused and all about the eye contact when it’s his agenda. But when someone’s trying to talk HIM, he is SO dismissive to the point of rude! Haha. Come on dude, at least TRY harder for strategy’s sake! You’re so easy to read.
BEST QUOTE OF THE NIGHT goes to KEVIN: “I have tiny asian hands.” Sigh. Oh the places I could go with this. Picture on my brain attached…I can’t help it! The girl can't help it!
CHIMA: Her face revealed the truth during that fight with Russell. I watched the scene and thought something was off. Then Carolyn, my BB guardian angel, told me there had been some heavy editing done. Me no likey. Yes, Russell’s been pretty explosive on more than one or four occasions, but Chima’s use of “terrorist” was intentional. Own it HE-ma, don’t go back peddling…unless it’s off the BB set.
LYDIA: Oh, I see she went to American Apparel before heading into the house. I can’t tell if it’s the circle scarf of the hooded scarf she’s rocking. I was just in there today (and a week ago, I have a weakness for shopping in stores that attract pedophiles apparently)…and I saw it hanging on the rack. I thought about buying it. For like 12 seconds, and then didn’t.
Kevin!!! Did you REALLY not use the veto on your bff?! You are such a “poopy bear!” I told my momz and she was like “Leally?! Like, leally?! That’s not the nice!”
PS: I would like someone to grant my wish. I would like to be either Russell’s or Jeff’s t-shirt for a day. Preferably on a day when they’re sweating a lot.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Just an FYI I’ve spent the last 19 hours recovering from my first food poisoning experience.
JEFF: Sigh…Jeff’s poker face is amazing. His face is just amazing actually. I can’t believe he’s been able to keep such a secret from the entire house. When he says “love love love” I feel like it’s a shout-out to me, just me. Because I say “love love love” all the time!
And the way he eats, oh so sexy. He is so protective of Jordan and it's a joy to watch, it really is. Clearly, I am in Love Jeff mode, just put it on vibrate and leave me be.
Bachul and Nicole, if you’re reading: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GETTING ME HOME WHEN ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS VOMIT ALL OVER THE STREETS OF THE EAST VILLAGE!
WHAT?! WHAT?! Jeremy Piven WHAT?! Hold up. Our Season 4 got a motherfrigging MIME?!
And this summer they get TWO movie screenings? Are there anymore coming? And this summer they get all these cash prizes?!
For all of you who don’t know my buddy K*ntroS*K, they are not a fan of me or my writing, or my existence too perhaps. An angry message was left for me, and I wonder if this is also the person who called me a racist:
I would say I was bitter if I was an ex-HG booted early and looking for attention. I would say I was bitter if I didn't have an amazing life before and after my season :). But I actually won my season fair and square and like everyone else who tunes into the summer mayhem in the BB house, I have strong opinions. But they're just opinions.
PS: I AM bitter tho that my period came unexpectedly this week...damn this teenaged body of mine.”
So yeah. You’re right. Now I’m bitter. I would have LOVED to hung out with Jeremy Piven.
Blah, blah, blah, Russell and Lydia are up on the block. Whatevs. I’m still on the kimchi thing. Hooray!
When I was 25, it was a very good year. I had just ended a really really long relationship with “Joe” and I was really really happy with “Dan”.
Then when late spring rolled around, my allergy-free life as I knew it became painful, harrowing even. People who don’t suffer just don’t know. I didn’t know my whole life as I pranced along the streets in my springy dresses.
It was our first spring and it was wonderful and honeymoon in nature. But my eyes itched, my nose felt tingly all the time…and I started to sneeze…uncontrollably. That was not sexy. I prefer sexy.